The Definition of Me

If my name were to appear in the dictionary, what would the definition say?

At times, it would say...Redbook or Glamour shows me how to dress up what she's got or accessorize what she is not. The whole point is for her to look better, feel better about how she looks and wonder why in the world she can't look like the gal on the page.

I'm not proud of that.

At other times, the definition of me would include the opinions of those who I've loved and lost. Those I have hurt and have hurt me. Those whom I have judged and those who judge me. I'm glad that they didn't include a picture beside my name. It wouldn't be pretty.

Maybe my definition would have to be written in erasable ink...because it seems to change with the season. And some days, it changes by the circumstance.

If I feel loved...my definition is words, well woven together to produce a strong perception.

If I feel condemned...the words cower in the corner and do their best to apologize away my mistake.

If I feel insecure...my words try to hide behind.

I struggle daily to listen to the still, small voice that tells me who I am. But, honestly, the others scream louder.

So, I am trying to spend more silent time...
learning in to hear the real definition of me.

[written by my friend, Karol]